Well the fun part couldn't last forever. I've had my time in the sun and now it's time for darkness to fall.

Time to panic, time to scream, time to cry- Oh wait, we've had that already. _{thanks you guys...}

School is on a serious downer again. Even though I've barely gamed these past few months, my results haven't gotten better. Oh I'll admit, I've grown as an artist. I've managed to throw a punch to Anatomy that he'd usually deflect, and though I can't quite kick his ass, I'm getting there. Meanwhile Bappie is doing well and drop-kicking the bitch.

So let's see. How are the scores, General?

Our allies are backstabbing bastards, deserving to get shot but left to wander.
Our command is fine and finally realising good soldiers shouldn't be thrown out into the battlefield, never to be thought about again.
Our weapons are horribly sub-par, but we learn to upgrade.
Our own armour and physique? Don't make me laugh Sir.
As for Boot Camp. Oh my god, that crashed and burned so widely I think the smoke stain could be seen from the ISS.

No spare time, everything but Love going to hell, depression is sinking in and then a brief moment of what people will think of this journal.

And that's when it hits me.
It's a journal.
A place for me to muse and ramble without care for other's thoughts. That doesn't mean we shouldn't take heed of other feelings and do things we will regret sorely*, but it does mean that others should stop bitching about them. After all, it's your journal, non?
Otherwise, while it's a pretty lame move there's always the blocklist on DA.**

So I'm going into bastard mode, something that's been getting worse and worse these last two months. Right now, I care very, very little for anyone but myself. There are a few friends I still do trust but most of them can now duck because I'll start throwing hammers at the slightest offense. If I want to make sure that I myself, don't fall behind, into the wayside and get trampled on being used as a stepping stone for greedy, egotistical hypocritical bastards, I'm gonna have to drop the pathetic few people that leech onto me on their asses. Otherwise they won't learn.***



In short, I'm going to be somewhat of a mean, snarly, selfish recluse for the next few months, if not the entire new semester.
I'm not going out of my way to help anyone else anymore, and I very much doubt anyone's going to help me.
But I ask of you to please, think of a moment.

I've always done what I could to help you all, placing your feelings and personal standpoints above mine but not to the point of suffocating my own. I've always kept in high regards your personal beliefs, religions and how you may react to some things. I've stopped myself from many a crude joke about your various standpoints and butting in to make a joke towards myself.
Will you not think through what you type before you hit enter, and think of me in return for this period?


<sub>*I know I should just take this up in person but it also goes to some people online. Shut the fuck up, and just edit your devwatch so you won't have to read up on my crapheap! Christ!
**Aye, Just because I've calmed myself from severely harming others does not mean you are forgiven. Not for a long, long time.
***Who am I kidding. The people this is directed to won't even bother to read this. Nor could they keep it up through the entire journal, methinks.

"Down through the centuries the notion that life is rounded in a dream
has been a pervasive theme of philosophers and poets.
So doesn't it make sense that death, too, would be wrapped in dream?
That after death, your conscious life would continue,
in what might be called a dream body?
It would be the same dream body you experience in your everyday dream life,
except that in the post-mortal state - you could never again wake up.
Never again return to your physical body."</sub>

Sooooo... I finally figured out my harddrives and all such stuff, and now I've got my laptop up and running.

I won't go fanboy but I think said it best; This is a mac-beater. This is windows as it should've been and if this came out and Vista was skipped entirely, Snow Leopard would have one hell of a run for it's money leeching new people in from Windows. Not that I wish to imply Mac's a bad system. Got nothing against it personally but when the game support is next to none, COME ON. Sorry, no thanks. And the pricesssssssssssssss. Jeez.

The reason I absolutely love 7 already is that - It fixed my net drivers. If you read my previous journal you'll know that a clean install of Vista means NO NET WHATSOEVER. I installed 7 here and it immediately prompted me what network I wanted to connect to; And it's letting me type from here . AWESOME.


Now to slave my ass off texturing all night long and then tomorrow, the big installing...

_{"Down through the centuries the notion that life is rounded in a dream
has been a pervasive theme of philosophers and poets.
So doesn't it make sense that death, too, would be wrapped in dream?
That after death, your conscious life would continue,
in what might be called a dream body?
It would be the same dream body you experience in your everyday dream life,
except that in the post-mortal state - you could never again wake up.
Never again return to your physical body."}

[link]

Please go take a looksie at that, make an account and comment if you have the time. Any feedback/support is greatly valued.

Soooo yah.

I'll be going as Rizu/whoever Mash chooses me to go as/both

_{"Down through the centuries the notion that life is rounded in a dream
has been a pervasive theme of philosophers and poets.
So doesn't it make sense that death, too, would be wrapped in dream?
That after death, your conscious life would continue,
in what might be called a dream body?
It would be the same dream body you experience in your everyday dream life,
except that in the post-mortal state - you could never again wake up.
Never again return to your physical body."}

I blame poor hardware optimisation and anything but my own person.

Yeah.


Whatever the blame, I don't care. I need to get the thing fixed, FAST. Slotted in a more reliable, 500 GB hard drive that seems to handle itself better than the 320 it had stock. Now mailing my dealer for the drivers to my built-in modem because I NO HAZ INTERNETZ ON LAPTOPZ.

I can't stand this. The CAT5 entry (Internet cable) goes through the wireless modem built into my laptop. Meaning if the drivers for my wireless net are missing, all my connection options disappear... Joy.

Also, I had gotten a new external casing for old harddrive which I reformatted, BUT HEY. It gives me the never-ending ticker. So it borked already. FFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUDDDDDGGGGGEEEEEE.

Add that sucker to the fact my mother's old VAIO laptop (Which I'd get for on-travel) is a VAIO, meaning the harddrive is probably soldered to the core of the motherboard or some scheisse, and therefore the dead laptop is useless to us all, and we've got a winning combination.

I'm still going to dismantle the VAIO in my spare time to see if I can get it fixed. In the meantime I'm still running on miss Zombie - Ombra, the desktop PC with the fried out video card that will for some reason put up with Dead Space but not Half Life 2...

Any comments about lolgetdesktop will be removed. Come on people, I shouldn't have to warn you...

_{"Down through the centuries the notion that life is rounded in a dream
has been a pervasive theme of philosophers and poets.
So doesn't it make sense that death, too, would be wrapped in dream?
That after death, your conscious life would continue,
in what might be called a dream body?
It would be the same dream body you experience in your everyday dream life,
except that in the post-mortal state - you could never again wake up.
Never again return to your physical body."}

Posted a poll, read the comment THEN decide on what you vote. Any stupid troll shit will be removed.

Of course if I do move I doubt it'll be fast. Saving lists of everything is a pain and I have a five month subscription left. Shame to waste.


So anyway. Comment! Feedback!

Oh yes, Shayral.deviantart is taken. By me. Before you even panic x3. I made it a year ago or something.

_{"Down through the centuries the notion that life is rounded in a dream
has been a pervasive theme of philosophers and poets.
So doesn't it make sense that death, too, would be wrapped in dream?
That after death, your conscious life would continue,
in what might be called a dream body?
It would be the same dream body you experience in your everyday dream life,
except that in the post-mortal state - you could never again wake up.
Never again return to your physical body."}